On Saturday March 6, 2010, I went to an open casting call for Biggest Loser in Tampa at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino. I had read about the event just a few days before and then over lunch with Ashley we decided we should go because the Biggest Loser needed a weight loss blogger on the show! We thought it would be the perfect angle and that we'd have an instant support group in all of our fellow bloggers.We were pumped up, looking great and ready to rock the Biggest Loser world!
The event was scheduled to begin at 10am and the information sheet specifically said not to arrive more than 3 hours prior to start. I arrived at 8:15 and the line was already at least 350 people deep. The friend who went with me walked to the front of the line and said there were people up there with chairs and blankets like they had been sleeping out all night long. So much for following the rules!
The morning started with a layer of ice on my car. I figured the event would be indoors so I left my jacket in the car. It was partly indoors and partly outdoors. We started our wait in line outdoors in a breezeway and let me emphasize the breeze in breezeway because it was responsible for the end of my good hair day. Then we moved indoors thawed out but I'm pretty sure the producers didn't realize that unlike the rest of Florida, the casino is not a clean indoor air environment and even at 10am there was a distinct smell of smoke making its way from the casino area and from a few contestant waiting in line. Finally the line moved back outdoors in the breezy shade and froze again. By the time we moved to the open outdoor space the sun was shining brightly and it was early afternoon.I had on a sweater but what I didn't realize is that my exposed neckline was getting sunburned.
For six hours we waited, through the ice cold to the blazing sun. Standing and waiting. Waiting and standing. The people in line around us were phenomenal. I couldn't have asked for a better group of people to be around us in line. 90% of the people I talked to were very friendly. They'd come from all over the south east to audition for the show. At an hour drive, I felt luck to live so close.
When it was finally our turn, a group of ten of us sat around a table with a casting person. We had mere minutes to make an impression. He went around the table twice and asked us each to answer the same question. First question was name, age, where are you from and what do you do for a living. When I go to the what do you do for a living part I told him I was a weight loss blogger. I genuinely believe he had never heard that answer before because he asked me another question about it. I told him that for the past two years (actually its almost three now) I'd been blogging about my efforts to lose weight. He asked if I'd ever blogged about the Biggest Loser and I said a few times but not lately. I also gave a shout out to the HYC people and told him about the fabulous group of people who check in each week to support each other. Then he asked the tough question. "Has anyone ever lost weight by participating in your challenge" and I replied that yes lots of them have. In my head I was thinking almost everyone BUT me has lost weight but instead I said that I keep doing it because people tell me they're inspired by me and I want to inspire people. And I should have added in, look at how many more people I could inspire if you picked me to be on the biggest loser....but I didn't say that. There is a limited amount of time and I'd already had far more than my share of time.
The next question was quite simple: why have you failed at weight loss attempts in the past. Of course in my head I'm thinking there isn't enough time in the world for this answer. Again when it was my turn, it seemed like he spent more time talking to me than the others. I wanted to give a good answer, a simple and concrete answer. The answer of all answers that would make the light of a million light bulbs shine down on me and suddenly in my head I'd finally know the answer for all that I'd been searching for and find my own personal magic diet pill. But of course the words that came out of my mouth were common and not at all magical. I said that I always start off strong but somewhere along the way I lose focus and I'm left to start over again. Then he asked how many diets I've started on a Monday. I think he was expecting me to throw out a random number and maybe I should have. He had a response ready for that one in his head. He was going to tell me start them on Wednesday after I get inspired on Tuesday night by the Biggest Loser. Instead I told him that I quit starting diets on a Monday a few years ago because Monday diets don't work. Instead I start them on a Tuesday or any other day of the week but Monday.I should have told him about diet amnesia too.
In hindsight I should have gone into the logic behind why Monday diets don't work. I should have told him that every Sunday you go out and buy those foods that you're never ever going to eat again and you buy way too much of them. You eat and eat but they aren't all gone and on Monday morning when the choice of a healthy breakfast or leftover cake presents itself of course you have to get rid of the cake by eating because my Mom told me when I was little that kids were starving in....well you know, somewhere in the world. But time was very limited.
All in all I thought it went well. I was pleased with what I said. I felt I spoke up and made myself heard and that I probably had more time to talk than anyone else at the table. We were told before we sat down that if we make it through to the next round we'd receive a call by 9pm that night. It was like going on a first date and thinking things went good and then painfully waiting for him to call you for that second date.
As I watched the time tick away on the clock and the nine o clock hour draw near, I thought of my life and how the grains of sand were passing quickly through that hourglass too. I must have exchanged at least 150 texts with Ashley. I told her my legs hurt from standing for six hours and she said we just needed to look at it like it was our first challenge, clever girl! We scrutinized everything. We analyzed everything we said. If they wanted us a team we'd be a great team. If they wanted us as individuals we'd support each other and be there every step of the way. But one of us had to make it. One of us had to get a call back. I told her that if they wanted her and not me that she needed to go for it with all she has.
Time ticked and ticked and while I'd like to say we both got a call asking us back for another audition, I can't. In fact neither of us got a call back. It was like grade school gym class all over again. They didn't want me on their team. But it felt different this time. This time instead of feeling rejected I felt indifferent.
At 9:05 I turned off my phone and went to bed. My legs hurt from standing for six hours. My throat hurt from breathing in the smoke. I took an allergy tablet and crawled into bed next to Ken and told him that if my legs hurt this bad from standing for six hours, imagine how much they'd hurt after Bob and Jillian got their hands on me.
So here it is Sunday morning and the Biggest Loser casting call is but a memory. I have a few souvenirs: aching legs, a sore throat and sunburn. Oh who am I kidding, I'm glad I went, I really would have regretted not going. It was an experience I'll never forget.
I told myself going into this that if they didn't pick me it wouldn't be the end of the world. I also said that I wouldn't be one of those people who try out season after season. I already hit rock bottom and canceled my reservations, I already know that if I don't take action now, there won't be a next season for me.
I really wish I could reach out to all of the people who went to the Tampa casting call and start Biggest Loser Team Tampa. Just because we weren't picked, doesn't mean we can't be success stories. Just because we weren't picked doesn't mean we can't be an "after"
I'd really love to stay and tell you more but right now my personal trainers Bob and Jillian Max and Sadie are telling me its time to hit the pavement and get out there and walk. So I'll push through the pain of aching legs and stay on the healthy path. Team Diana is ready to roll!!
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