Jealousy

My friend recently returned from a trip and told me about the specialty cupcake bakery she had the opportunity to visit. “They had SQUARE cupcakes” she exclaimed, “I don’t know why but they just tasted better” I’m certain the better taste was her imagination appreciating the novelty of the item but it brought me back to my childhood.

Circa 1960: There was a woman who lived in our town and was the wife of a very wealthy man. She wanted for nothing and her children had every privilege and advantage. She took every opportunity she could to flaunt her wealth, I’ll call her Mrs Green. As it would happen, Mrs. Green’s son Bill was in the same class as my Aunts son Charlie. It was the custom back then to send treats to school when it was your childs birthday and every year my Aunt made square cupcakes for Charlie to take to school on his birthday to share with his class. All of the other kids thought it was SO COOL and they loved the square cupcakes. When Bill’s birthday was coming up, Mrs. Green asked him what he wanted to take to share with the class and he told her he wanted square cupcakes. She told him there was no such thing, cupcakes were round. He then told his Mom about having the square cupcakes that Charlie’s mom made and he wanted square cupcakes too and he would kick and scream and hold his breath until he turned blue because only square cupcakes would do.

Mrs. Green had a few weeks so she visited the local store and asked the clerk for square cupcake pans. The clerk told her she had never heard of such a thing. Not to be dissuaded, Mrs. Green spent the next two weeks travelling to every store in every town looking for the illusive square cupcake pans. She drove hundreds of miles in search of square cupcake pans; only to be told the same thing over and over again…they had never heard of square cupcake pans. She refused to call my Aunt and ask her where she bought her square cupcake pan. My aunt was beneath her and she wouldn’t go crawling to her, she’d rather disappoint little Billy.

Bill’s birthday came and went and poor spoiled Billy had round cupcakes on his birthday, and yes he held his breath until he turned blue and yes, he kicked and screamed too. Over the next five years Charlie and Billy would be in the same class and every year my Aunt would send square cupcakes to school on Charlie’s birthday. Not to be deterred, Mrs Green continued her search for square cupcake pans. She called everyone she knew in every city trying to find square cupcake pans. When her husband went on business trips, he was instructed to search for square cupcake pans and when he returned home, the first question she’d ask him was “did you find my pans?” She hated that my aunt had something that she didn’t have. All the while my Aunt was oblivious of Mrs Green’s jealousy of her square cupcakes.

Many years passed, Mrs Green’s husband lost his high paying job in a scandal and she was humbled and they moved away to Florida. As you know I ended up living in Florida too and as fate would have it, Mrs Green and I ended up working for the same company. When I found out she was from the same town, I introduced myself and told her my Mom’s maiden name and she was very familiar with the family. When she found out my Mom was coming for a visit, Mrs Green invited her to go play bingo so she could catch up on gossip from her home town and my Mom, the queen of bingo, wasn’t about to say no to that offer.

They became friends and on a subsequent visit to Florida my Mom and Mrs. Green played bingo again and she told my Mom there was something she just had to get off her chest. She told my mom how very jealous she was of her sister Elizabeth and she just had to know, where on earth did Elizabeth get her square cupcake pan. My Mom just laughed and said to her “Elizabeth didn’t have a square cupcake pan, in fact, she couldn’t afford a cupcake pan when her kids were young so she just put the cupcake liners in a rectangular cake pan side by side and then filled them with batter and they came out square, later when she could afford a pan she didn’t want one because her square cupcakes had become a family tradition”

It was then that Mrs. Green told her of the great lengths she had gone to trying to find a square cupcake pan and how for years she was jealous of Elizabeth because she thought she had a square cupcake pan and for years she searched every store and even considered having a pan custom made. My Mom just looked at her and said “it wasn’t a secret, if you would have just asked her she would have told you how she made square cupcakes”

Have you ever been jealous of someone only to find out later that your jealousy was misplaced? Someone recently told me they had been jealous of me because they thought I was so “perfect” and because I posted about some struggles, they realize that I have been choosing to blog about the brighter side of life rather than blog about the negative in my world. We talked about it, had a good laugh about it. My life isn’t perfect, far from it. Just about everyone would change something about their life if they could. It’s important to always remember that you don’t always know what’s going on in someone’s life; you don’t always know what they keep inside of them and hide from the world.

Jealousy is such a waste of energy and a waste of emotions. For years it ate Mrs. Green up inside and my aunt was oblivious. You can waste a lifetime being jealous but the only person you harm with jealousy is YOU. Honestly, you and I know your life and your time are worth so much more. Time is far too precious.

The next time you find yourself jealous of someone, think of square cupcakes and ask yourself, is it really worth it?

Disclaimer: No actual cupcakes were harmed or sacrificed while writing this post.