Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Addicted to Food

So much of my life I’ve used food to numb away my pains both emotional and physical. When I was a child and I would have a booboo, Mommy would give me a cookie, Dad would give me ice cream and it would all feel better. As an adult using food went beyond the booboo to out and out self medication to the point where I’d stuff myself so full of food, all I’d feel is the misery in my stomach and it would mask and numb any hurt or painful memories or emotions.

The thing about doing this is that you don’t even realize you’re doing it. An alcoholic reaches for alcohol and a drug addict reaches for drugs and they hear its wrong, when a food addict reaches for food, the consequences are different. Most people don't say anything, some will stare, some will encourage but they don't ship you off to rehab. You don’t get pulled over for the police for driving while stuffed and bloated. If you go through too many drive thrus and buffets they don’t cut you off and say sorry we can’t serve you, you’ve had enough to eat. 

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I am a food addict. I've picked food over so many things in life. There have been times when I've turned down invitations because I wanted to be with my food. I worried about traveling with friends because I wanted to make sure I'd have enough food. On business trips I've packed candy and snacks in my suitcase so when alone in the privacy of my hotel room I could be alone and take the edge off with food. I've gone through the drive thrus and ordered a favorite from one place only to drive down the road and order a favorite from another place.

Once on a trip back from the UK, my plane was delayed overnight in Toronto Canada. Exhausted I found a hotel for the night and I ordered food, a large pizza, chicken wings, cheese stick, garlic bread and diet coke. Yes it was just me but I had been in the UK for three weeks, surrounded by other people all of the time, I had to keep my eating in the normal range. I couldn't binge eat and oh how I missed feeling that feeling. When the food was delivered I had to go to the main lobby to pick it up and I remember sharing the elevator ride with a young couple who asked if we were having a party in my room. Surly this amount of food was for a group of people. I remember just laughing and feeling a sense of nervous tension the whole time and this inescapable terror. I just wanted to get back to my room and be alone with my food. All night I watched images of the plane that had crashed earlier that day.  The next morning I saw half of a pizza and most of the wings, garlic bread and cheese sticks still sitting there and I cried. I felt guilty about eating the food but I felt guilty at the same time about wasting so much food and then of course I told myself that as soon as I got home it would be different. I would change and I would lose weight. But of course I got home and found all of the Thorntons chocolates and the Belium chocolate in my suitcase I started eating and that giant box I bought to take to work and share, well that never made it to work. By then it was almost Thanksgiving and then almost Christmas so diets could wait til January, in January I would be good, I would be different, I'd change and I'd diet and I'd lose weight and no one would even recognize me...Here it is January 10 years later and I'm still fighting. But its only in the past year that I've realized that I am a food addict and as a food addict I need to treat this as an addiction to take control of my food, change the way I look at food and work towards slow and permanant weight loss.


MizFit had a great face time video post on Monday asking What’s Your PR, PR stands for personal responsibility. If you haven’t checked it out yet, get over there double quick and check it out.

Its easy to blame others, its easy to make excuses but we all have a personal responsibility to own up to our choices. Its easy to sit back and feel sorry for yourself when someone puts you down or criticizes you. Its so important to learn the difference between constructive criticism and mean-spirited comments and know that sometimes you have to cut ties with people who hurt you and try to drag you under with them. But take to heart and listen to those who offer constructive criticism because they often have your best interest at heart and this can help you grow as a person.

If I’ve learned one thing over the past few years its that life is like being on a stream or river. Sometimes its smooth sailing, sometimes you hit rapids and have to hold on for dear life and sometimes you have to swim against the current to get to where you need to go. You can let the river carry you or you can take control of the rudder and wheel and be the captain of your vessel. I’ve spent too much time drifting aimlessly. Time to take the wheel and control the path to the destination. ENOUGH ALREADY!

24 comments:

  1. The last part of your post reminds me of this quote which I love and which gives me hope.

    "I'm not afraid of storms for I'm learning how to sail my ship." - Louisa May Alcott

    I think we're all learning how to sail our ships. It takes time and effort but we can definitely get there in the end.
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  2. Hi Diana, once again, I'm nodding and empathizing all the way through your post. I think I'm at the stage of wondering why/what I'm trying to stuff down with food. {{{hugs}}}
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  3. powerful stuff and written SO AMAZINGLY.
    --

    this especially:
    I remember just laughing and feeling a sense of nervous tension the whole time and this inescapable terror.

    there's no way my comment can measure up---so just know I read.
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  4. Great post, as always. And I know that you all ready know it, but you're not alone in the feelings you've felt & still feel. I think it's wonderful you're getting it all out there so that your readers know that THEY, too, are not alone.
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  5. amazing post! I can see signs that I was a borderline food addict throughout the years. I have only recently started to figure out the trigger...........when I am lonely for adult company.......I eat. I overeat! Some may wonder how I can get lonely with 4 kids.....it's not that I'm bored.....I just long for the adult conversation. I did much better during the years that I worked outside the home for that very reason. I have only figured this out in the last month or so.

    I think finding out what's behind the problem is the first step.

    Thank you for this post!
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  6. Thank you so much for this powerful post. The past couple of years I am finding more and more that the addiction paradigm fits my relationship with food.
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  7. My two cents: "Its only a reason until you recognize it then its just another excuse".

    So been there girl, so been there.

    I know why I ate the way I ate. I was trained to eat that way just like you were. But its only our parents fault up till we realize the problem. (Not saying you are blaming them of course). My mother didn't make me fat. But she did train me on how to get fat. I didn't see this of course till I was SUPER fat lol. Then it was my "reason" for years and years till I realized that once I recognized the "reason" for how I had gotten myself so fat that the "reason" had now become an "excuse". That was a huge moment for me. When I realized that there was nothing I could do about how and why I got to the weight I had gotten to. BUT. There WAS something I could do about the choice to stay there with my excuses or to find new reasons to not stay at that weight and "Change my mind". I did that. I changed my mind about who was in charge of what and it seriously changed my day(life).

    YOU GO GIRL!

    I think you are making huge strides into healing yourself. Keep up the amazing work. Keep looking into yourself for the reasons and the excuses will fade away...

    *huggles*
    =0)
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  8. I have never been an emotional eater. I am a bonafide boredom eater. I tend to not eat if I am an emotional wreck.
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  9. I agree Felica, now that I know whats going on its up to me to fix it, only I can control what the fork delivers to my mouth. The accepting responsibility is the reason why I shared the link to MizFit.

    I know some people won't ever get this, some people just don't have this relationship with food. You can't quit food but you have to eat to live not live to eat.
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  10. OMW, those behaviors describe the old me to a T! I also turned down social invitations because I thought I wouldn't be able to eat as much as liked and I could do better on my own. I would also go from one restaurant to the next. I would buy two sodas at take-out places so that they wouldn't think all the food was for me.

    The 80 day Juice Feast I did last year healed something inside me and food no longer has that hold over me. Oh, I still overeat quite regularly, but I don't binge and we're eating so healthy that it's not the end of the world. And I'm working on it...

    I'm glad that you're working on it too! You can do it, Diana!
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  11. Great post. Yes it is time for all of us to take control. Thanks for the reminder.
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  12. I can so relate, I am similar in my eating habits. Realizing it is most important. I wish you all the best as you continue on this journey?
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  13. What an incredibly moving post. And yes, "it's time to take the wheel and control the path to the destination" for me, too in other life things.
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  14. As a former smoker...

    OMG.

    Just before I got married, my husband asked me, nicely, if I would try to quit smoking. He said he wouldn't hold it against me if I couldn't do it, but just to try, and he'd never say a think about it again.

    I threw out half a pack of smokes the night before the wedding and I haven't had a single one since.

    Food? Argh! So frustrating... and biology sucks. Something this works, sometimes that works, sometimes you know why you gained, sometimes you have NO IDEA why you gained, sometimes you do everything right and sometimes you do everything wrong, and the scale doesn't seem to care, it does it's own thing...

    HUGS!
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  15. I am also so much addicted to food. I cant resist them.
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  16. The last part of your post reminds me of this quote which I love and which gives me hope.
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  17. Great Post! Your posts are so real and eye-opening, which creates motivation and encouragement for us followers to want to be healthy and to be on this journey with you. Thanks for sharing :)
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  18. Great post. I agree completely, a food addict searches for food to solve their problems. I know I have in the past.
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  19. I used to do that too. But I can't let myself ever let go like that again. I LIKE losing weight and getting thinner each day!
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  20. Food addictions are scary in the way that our society doesn't deal with them the same way as other addictions- it makes it that much more difficult to overcome them.
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  21. Very powerful. You have said what I feel.

    I am also healing my relationship with food. Last year instead of turning to food for emotional support, I actually turned to people. It took a lot of courage to be vulnerable and authentic. I couldn't pretend that I was little Ms. Perfect. But, guess what, unlike turning to food, turning to people and turning inward, actually does heal the booboo rather than delay the pain.

    Now I'm working on changing what I think is good tasting or filling food as I continue to do the inner healing work with the aid of friends and family.
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  22. What an amazing, honest post. Thank you for sharing it with all of us.

    I see a bit of myself within the words on your post and it helps so much.
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  23. it's not so bad to be addicted to food.
    just eat normal and enjoy food and everything is OK. eat fruits, meat, vegetables.
    avoid chocolate, coke, biscuits and evryone will be feeling allright
    :)
    :)
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  24. This hits close to home for me. When with people, I would eat like a bird, especially around collegues. Then, at night, back at the hotel room, I would order take out to the nines. I would gorge myself with the same stuff: pizza, wings, subs, chips, the whole thing. In the morning, the leftovers would stink up the room. I would be so embarrassed of the evidence that oftentimes, I would eat the leftovers and then trash the evidence in the maid's quarters. Thanks for your honesty. It really helped me today.

    Cheers,
    Missa
    LosingEthel
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