Spiraling upward on positive emotion: connecting mood and food

The other day we were looking for a car wash that didn’t have a huge line. We have strict water restrictions in the Tampa Bay area and we couldn’t just wash away the layers of yellow pollen that covered the car with the garden hose at home without expecting a fine.

Ken: There’s one with a short line!

Me: We can’t go to that one

Ken: Why not?

Me: They ripped me off once

Ken: What happened?

Me: The put the car through the car wash, and did a vacuum on the interior and when I went to get the money I had put in the ashtray for a tip and give it to them and the money was gone.

Ken: What did you do?

Me: I went in and I complained to the manager who gave me some lame excuse that their vacuums are very powerful and the money probably got sucked up by mistake and I told him the ash tray was closed and its funny how the postage stamps that were on top of the money didn’t get sucked up. He still tried to blame the vacuum so I called him a liar and a thief and when he tried to give me a voucher for a free car wash I ripped it up and threw it at him and I never went back.

Ken: When did this happen?

Me: It was when my Mitsubishi was brand new so that would have been 1992

Ken: and remember this? You’ve held a grudge against them all of this time

Me: yes I have

Ken: let it go already, do you really need to carry that negativity around with you? Over what? $2 or $3 dollars? The people working there have probably changed 20 times over by now



It made me stop and think: Why was I carrying this negativity with me? How much negativity do I carry around with me? Was it really a grudge? I thought I was just standing up for myself but at what point do I let it go? But when I think about it and consider the meaning of the word grudge: to stew or harbor ill feelings, deep-seated resentment or ill will. How ugly are those words? How ugly are negative words in general?

While I don’t think about the car wash on a regular basis when he suggested we go there I immediately felt tense and explained why I didn’t want to go there. How many other instances in my life have I held on to negative feelings? I suppose if each negative was represented by a marble and I put them in a jar that jar would be quite full, maybe even overflowing. If they were grains of sand, how big would my beach be?

How much negativity do we carry around with us that we don't even realize? Some of the negative feelings I’ve felt in the past maybe you’ve felt them too:

• Ashamed
• Criticized
• Dehumanized
• Embarrassed
• Humiliated
• Inferior
• Unworthy
• Ridiculed
• Powerless
• Imprisoned
• Discouraged
• Insignificant
• Lonely
• Judged
• Abused
• Defensive
• Insecure
• Intimidated
• Hopeless
• Pessimistic
• Skeptical
• Cynical

Once again I have to say: the only person I’m hurting by holding on to any of this is ME. How else does this affect my life?

In reference to my weight loss and attempts to stay on plan I often talk about feeling like I’m swirling around a black hole, struggling and fighting so I’m not sucked into that pit.

When I think of negative words and negative circumstances, I think of how they make me feel physically: angry, depressed, frustrated, tired, burned out, no energy. You might have heard the expression: I was so mad it made my blood boil. Another way of saying your blood pressure was elevated to a dangerous level. Not just bad for your mental outlook but we know that its not good for your heart. There are times when negative feelings are warranted but not knowing where to draw the line is dangerous to your health and well being.

Now I think about positive emotions and words in my life:

• Happy
• Joyful
• Calm
• Peaceful
• Love
• Compassion
• Delighted
• Ecstatic
• Encouraged,
• Hopeful
• Lively
• Kind
• Inspired
• Enthusiastic
• Content
• Connected
• Cheerful
• Radiant
• Serene
• Vibrant
• Elated
• Full of Life
• Jubilant
• Bliss
• Respected
• Worthy

Thinking about the two lists and how I feel when I read through each one, how I feel when I experience each one:

Positive emotions give you energy.

Negative emotions deplete your energy.

So now if you're saying: I thought this was a weight loss blog, why is she babbling on about car washes and emotions. How does this relate to my ongoing weight loss and healthy body efforts?

When I’m fueling my body with healthy foods and exercise: please refer to positive emotion list.

When I’m eating junk food and being lazy: please refer to the negative emotion list.

See the connection? In the past I’ve used certain foods to comfort negative emotions. These are habits and learned behaviors. Its important that we take time to learn these negative patterns and responses so we can build new and healthier responses. I know that I eat out of boredom and stress most of the time. Recognizing my stressors, recognizing the negative emotions that lead to the stressors has been a huge turning point in my ongoing battle. When I exercise I feel fabulous after and that feeling lasts. When I fuel my body with healthy foods, I feel good from the inside out.

When my body feels good it’s so much easier to let those negative comments roll off my back. It’s so much easier to see the struggles in life in a positive manner but when my body aches and I’m feeling run down its like I’ve opened a flood gate for the negative emotions and let me tell you, negative emotions are heavy and they weigh you down. They leave you feeling drained.

Yes bad things are going to happen our lives, we can’t always look at the positive side of things but it’s here were we really need to pick our battles carefully. I’d rather be in the upward spiral of the positive emotions headed towards cloud nine than sat at the bottom of a pit of despair. I realize that not every negative event needs to send me spiraling downward. I’ve also realized that holding on to too much negativity weighs you down and makes it easier it is to slide down the spiral. This is why learning to let go of the little things is so important.

I’ve learned that losing weight isn’t just about the food I put in my mouth and the exercise I give my body. There is a bigger connection. There is emotion behind my actions. For me understanding how these emotions connect had to happen before I find success. Its human to stumble sometimes but I’m getting up a lot quicker these days and I’m leaving a lot of baggage behind. Its up to me now, I can change my attitude and change my world.