finding my way

Last night I dreamed of things from the past. There were people from my childhood who I had found, some welcomed being found, others wanted to stay hidden. Along the way I got lost. I started living a life that wasn't mine. Its hard to explain but in this dream I was a different person, not a bad life or a good life, just a different life. It didn't focus on if I was fat or skinny, successful or a failure, it was just ordinary every day occurrences.

One of the last scenes I recall playing out in my dream was running into an old friend. We said goodbye as an I'll see you when I see you kind of thing and I headed off to catch a flight for a business trip. Nothing about this life seemed familiar or comfortable. It really wasn't living, just merely existing. As I approached my gate to check in I was told I'd need to go back to the bus station because I had forgotten to check in down there too although I'm not quite sure why this was necessary. I just recall thinking that I didn't want to walk past that old friend again. I didn't want to have that awkwardness of another meeting when we had already said our goodbyes. I planned to sneak past them and find another way to my destination.

I walked and walked for what seemed like ages and I found myself lost, in an unfamiliar area and not sure where to go next. I looked down and I saw my dog Max. I wasn't sure where he came from but he was familiar, he was a connection to my life and he turned and looked at me over his shoulder as if to say: follow me. I knew in an instant I was right where I needed to be and that Max would help me find my way home again.

Typically when I wake up, I can recall bits and pieces of my dreams but this entire section of my dream was quite clear and quite vivid. Sometimes I think dreams try to tell us things we already know. Last night when I went to bed I was a bit nervous. Thinking about all of the changes happening in my life and wondering how I'd make it all come together. I didn't let myself go to the place where you think: If I had just done this ages ago I wouldn't be doing it right now, instead I went there in my dream. 

Today I'm registering for a few more classes and pushing forward on my five year plan. Five years continuing education, improving my health and living the life I want to live instead of just existing.  I'm pretty sure that my dream was telling me that I'm on the right path in life and that I shouldn't doubt myself. If I get lost, there will always be someone waiting to hold out their hand and help me along the way.