The other day I was walking the dogs and I saw a man who lives a few streets over and stopped to chat for a minute. His wife died about a year ago and he told me that he had reconnected with a woman he had known many years ago. I told him I was happy that he was living again and that his wife would want him to live his life. Sweet story isn't it? Then he told me this woman told him that she thought he was attractive for many years and she wanted to connect with him even while he was married so he was feeling guilty. Being the voice of reason, I gently reminded him that the woman never acted on those feelings and that he was unaware so really there was nothing to feel guilty about. I told him to take a chance and see what happens. He said he was going to do just that but he had been married for over 30 years and had a routine with his wife and it just felt comfortable so even though he is in his mid 70's it was scary to jump into the unknown.
Isn't that true for all of us no matter what our ages? No matter what the circumstances? New things can be exciting and fun, going new places, trying new things. I remember when I was younger going someplace new was such a thrill. No matter how long the trip, the ride there always felt twice as long as the ride home. The anticipation could be overwhelming yet fear was never a factor. Somewhere a long the way, new things, unknown things started to come with fear attached. Exactly where did that happen? When did jumping into the unknown get that extra baggage?
At some point in our lives we learn to think things through, to look at the pros and cons, we learn to plan, we learn to be responsible and we learn to fear. A certain amount of fear is a good thing. It keeps us from making stupid mistakes, it keeps us from thinking we can fly and jumping off a high building. It keeps us on our toes in a dangerous situation where we need to be alert and aware. But there is a difference between fear and caution. That anxiousness and apprehension that proceeds the unknown can be healthy to an extent. If we take that anxiousness and channel it into something positive it can keep us pushing forward.
My life is so full of unknowns right now. There are so many paths and options and for a while now, I've been fearful of having to make those choices. I've felt like that at my age, my life should be more settled. That I had done something wrong. I look at other people my age and their life is a certain way, established and settled and yet I feel like someone just starting out in life. I waited until I was older to get married so in many senses I am supposed to be at a different stage in life. After talking to my neighbor I realize that no matter what our age, no matter where we find ourselves, there are paths, there are options and sitting still can give you time to think but sitting still too long and you'll stagnate. The best parts of living are found in the journey along the way and just when I think I get to my destination, there will be another journey waiting for me. I think about this so often in my weight loss adventure. What if I jump? What if I take that leap of faith? What will be waiting for me? I guess its time to find out.
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