Lately I've been caught up in life
Lately I've been fighting an illness
Lately I haven't been blogging too much
Lately I haven't been focused on my health
Lately I haven't exercised
Lately I've had too many reasons why...
I can't even guarantee these words will make sense to any of you but here it goes.
So here it is, the last two months of the year and I look back at this past year (and the year before) and I see my weight is pretty much where its been for the past two years. One thing leads to another and here we are and here I am wishing things were different but they aren't. Yes thats my head talking but lately my body has been talking. Correction, my body has been screaming!
My body has said its had enough of my not taking care of it and its treated me to three months of itching hives that won't go away. Of course my doctor has graciously treated me to two rounds of steroids and told me that they don't have to cause weight gain, they only cause weight gain when you eat too much. Ok...thats not really fair to my doctor. He wanted me to take the steroids back in August when the problem first started. Had I taken them then, I might not be this bad today. I waited until it was unbearable. I waited until I reached the breaking point. And here I am.
Do you have any idea what its like to itch for three months? One area clears up only to have another flare up. You try every over the counter medication, you try what your doctor offers, you try home remedies, you become best friends with the woman at the health food store. Itching leads to not sleeping, not sleeping leads to physical and mental exhaustion. So then you take a pill to help the itch that also helps you sleep and you wake yourself up bloody from scratching in your sleep. The doctor gives you an antibiotic to clear up the infected itchy spots and what do you know...I had an allergic reaction to the antibiotic. And then somewhere in there the depression sets in.
I haven't been blogging because I've been too busy itching...or trying not to itch. While I was itching I was comforting myself with comfort food, is it any wonder I gained 20 pounds? Was it the steroids...really? Or was it me stuffing my mouth with food to comfort myself? And wait just a minute, has that food really caused comfort or contributed to the problem? Sweating and exposure to humidity makes it worse, much worse so exercise has stopped. I've walked the dogs for at least a mile a day, almost every day for the past three years. So the one thing I was doing right for my immune system, daily exercise, has stopped. Oh sure I could turn the air conditioner down to 60 and workout, then quickly jump in the shower...and I have but my electricity bill is screaming too and that leads us back to the cause of stress. The cause of stress has been fixed, its been remedied and its actually worked out for the better but its not an instant switch for my body. My body is still rebelling.
Lessons learned. Oh yes I've learned several lessons. If I wait until my body is at that breaking point of unbearable before I do anything, its going to make things a whole lot worse. There are some things a pill can't fix. There are some things you have to fix from the inside out. I stopped and compared it to my weight. I can't let myself get to the point of no return. Comfort food isn't comforting to my body and its doing me no favors.
Hives are a response to many things: stress, food allergies, immune system deficiencies. So basically I had lots and lots of stress and I started eating foods I had previously eliminated from my diet and then I cry and wonder why I'm itching so much? My body is fighting back. My body is saying "fine, if you won't take care of me I'll make you itch until you pay attention" I'LL PAY ATTENTION!! But did it have to pick the year with the deadly H1N1 to rebel and weaken my defenses?I know, I know, you're in charge, no back talk.
I'm listening body! I'm finally listening. I'm feeding you good healthy foods and I'm starting right now, right at this minute, today. Oh I can't promise this resolve will last a minute past the first Thanksgiving temptation passes my nose and even if it does I have the whole December holiday season to make it through, but I'm going to make the best choices at each and every meal. I'm going to do my best and make the better decisions and maybe just maybe you'll let these ugly scars on my leg heal? If I fail, just make me itch and I'll get the message and get back on track again. Deal?
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